Permission

Wounds reopened that i thought had healed burns at the touch of the cold air of my past. Too delicate, no tissue thick enough to scar it over. I don't mean to hurt you but I thought I was protecting myself. Selfish of me, but please let me explain. My love for you has bled out to its very last drop leaving me completely drained. But forever I bleed, forever I'll love you. My love for you flows thru me internally. You were more than everything to me. You'll have a piece of me unable to be reattained . But waiting for you almost feels like waiting for the impossible to happen. Time is all it took . Not patience, because I had none . Even though I have it now but I don't know where it came from . It took time for me to realize what had been in front of me the whole time . As time heals all, but the process kills. Cried you a thousands rivers frozen from neglect . And it cracks every time I look back to what we had. I slip thru and I'm drowning of embarrassment and shame. It burns holes thru my heart, and now you see right thru me. As if my existence once was all in vain. I could easily look back at all the good times we had , but that would just make it even harder for me to look past. I need the strength to move on, but my weakness is I only want to move on with you. Start over with a fresh start, but I don't think you even have a clue. Everyone else can see I never truly let you go. I wanna tell you how I feel, but I'm not sure if you already know. Im hurting without you, wont you numb me over with a dose of your love? But I'll live for the pain if it means I have to wait. I'd rather be hurting because all we'll ever be is friends over being hurt because we act like strangers in the streets. Every time I pass your presence from me not a single breathe leaks. Forever you'll have your strings on my heart and Ill proudly dance. You own my heart, my soul, me. Even from afar Ill be your biggest fan. And you never took advantage of me. Call me a bitch for trying to dig up our old bones in our closet but we cant move forward without understanding our past. After waiting years to even hold a conversation with you, are my emotions worth risking loosing that? I lost you once, I can't lose you again. So if i have to I'll settle to being just friends. You're worth biting my tongue, you deserve it all. And only if you allow me I'll give it to you.